she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Damn victory sex feels great
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
