I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
