your thong is hanging out like whoa
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
