oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I believe in your delicious
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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