So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
