do herpes really smell.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
