haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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