i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
