I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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