They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
