The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
