Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
