So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
