Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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