His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
