just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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