Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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