I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
