And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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