Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
