Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
