ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
