OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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