It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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