My cat gives me a boner
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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