I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
