that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
