She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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