I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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