dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
