Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
