I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
