he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it hurts more in the daytime
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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