the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
