woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
