New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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