When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
