I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
