Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
