I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
