Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
