Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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