I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
