the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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