So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
