he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
