I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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