FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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