she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it glows. i had to have it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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