if only i could text you this smell
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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