You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
