he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
