My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
