Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
