she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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