Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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