You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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