well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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