hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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