well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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