i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize