Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
